Of all the year end wrap-up shows thrown together by television producers without any better ideas, the “Miller Time” compendium of Dennis Miller’s appearances on ‘The Factor’ takes the award for most pathetic display of lonely men commiserating at the holidays.  Both Miller and O’Reilly probably support teams of psychoanalysts; sadly, they have surely driven countless therapists into chronic depression from having to listen to their self-important overcompensating rants.

Though otherwise completely lacking in almost any redeeming values, this show did remind me of a reactionary right wing talking point that needs to be refuted: that conservatives are “brave optimists” while liberals are cowardly pessimists.

Which side can’t go a single day without declaring “Islamo-fascism” to be the greatest threat mankind has ever faced?  Even though they have only successfully attacked us inside our borders on a single occasion, and that the less than 3, 000 deaths, while tragic, barely equal a typical weekend of drunk driving deaths in any small Texas town.  (yes, I’m exaggerating to make a point…)  For some reason, the hundreds of thousands of needless deaths we bring upon ourselves EVERY year (no exaggeration) are not worth worrying about; but the far, far smaller number that were caused by swarthy non-Christians, well, those deaths were much more important, and far scarier.  In fact, those 3,000 deaths were so scary, that we are prepared to throw away the Bill of Rights just to show how very afraid we remain of those scary, swarthy men.

Which side is so afraid of those other damn foreigners invading our Southern border that they are prepared to split the party arguing over ‘law and order’ versus ‘unfettered capitalism’.  Must suck when two of your strongest ideals are in direct conflict with each other, huh?  Personally, I do not fear Mexicans, regardless of their status in this country.  Why are conservatives so concerned about their impact on our country that they are ready to go against Reagan’s only sensible quote: “Tear down that wall…”

Last time I checked, I had no serious fears that my manhood, my relationship, my marriage, my sense of well being, my children’s future, the future of mankind, or anything else was in any danger due to the civil union and impending marriage of my two female neighbors.   But conservatives find this couple’s future wedding to be horrifying, frightful and just downright threatening.

For a party that is so strongly in favor or low taxes and small government, they are not willing to make cuts where the most money is ready to be saved – the military.  Why? Because they are AFRAID the bad guys are gonna get us!  They are pessimists who live their entire lives believing that the big kid is going to steal their lunch money unless they continually display overwhelming military force.  Whatever happened to winning through intelligence?

English immersion may just be the best way to educate the children of immigrants, but “English only” in real life is a sign of an inferiority complex.  As a country of immigrants, if millions of adults are not functionally literate in English, how are we better off by denying these citizens (or legal residents) the forms (signs, etc.) they need for daily life in a language they understand?  But one side seems terrified that they will find themselves lost in an unfamiliar neighborhood and all of the street signs will be in a language only understood by more of them swarthy, dark skinned types.  Oh, the horror…

Why is the possibility that there is no all-powerful God (who looks just like us!), so terribly frightening to the right?  Is it because they might have to be responsible for their own lives, their own morals, their own way in the world?  Or do they just hate the thought that the entire universe wasn’t created just for their own benefit / pleasure / profit?  Or is it the terrible realization that most of the wars in the history of mankind have been fought over fairy tales?  Talk about scary….

I was going to continue with a few words about drug laws, but I realized that almost every position that the reactionary right takes is due to fear or pessimism; usually both.  It would take me years to itemize every example of right wing fear and their negative outlook on just about everything.  It is the left that has a positive, fearless outlook for themselves and the future.